did you get engaged???
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
