whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
