It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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