My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Found the puke drawer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
