covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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