i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize