I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
