I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
