Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
