i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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