Have you finally orgasmed yet?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
