it wasn't lemon gatorade
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
