I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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