What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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