Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
