I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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