By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
