Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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