And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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