It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
