I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
