Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize