I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
