There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sobbing to NWA
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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