is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
