I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
