I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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