My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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