So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
