I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
