I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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