R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I'm really busy with my period
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