So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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