that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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