david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
