And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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