For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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