problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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