I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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