i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
