its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
