I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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