my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
