I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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