I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
