Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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