What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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