Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
