dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
