just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
