Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
