his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
