We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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