we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
