You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
