my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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