do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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