i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
