Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize