return my video game
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
